Fat is not a feeling

I seem to have missed all of the fuss about Facebook’s ‘fat’ emoji. I attempted a google something I’d seen a month or so ago and all I found were stories about the fact that—in addition to sharing that we’re feeling sad / angry / happy etc on Facebook—we can share that we feel fat. #meh

Eventually I found what I was looking for and it was this clip from Caroline Rothstein (BuzzFeed).

And logically I realised I had to agree.

Fat is not a feeling.

I’ve talked before about the word itself and the way my (once) adoring niece told me she loved my fat belly. She wasn’t being nasty. She was a toddler. Fat to her was just an adjective–with no positive / negative connotations added for good measure. To her my belly was not-skinny, not-normal, but fat. As if to say, not-green, not-blue, but red.

I was incredibly lucky to recently win a spot in The Unstoppable Program, thanks to Robyna from The Mummy and the Minx. The current six-week program started last week, however as I was still beleaguered by my ear infection I played catch-up on the weekend.

One of our first activities involved us thinking about how we wanted to feel when we woke each morning. (Bizarrely this was ONE DAY after my post about wanting to wake feeling enthusiastic about life!!!!) #Fate #Karma #Kismet #etcetera

I watched the video and listened to the group coaching session and settled myself down with my worksheet to think of words which would describe how I wanted to feel each morning.

Despite everything I have to admit, the first word I thought was ‘not-fat’. My pen stilled centimetres over the printed page.

Fat is not a feeling. Therefore, not-fat is not a feeling.

I reminded myself.

So I had to dig deeper. As Caroline did in the clip above.

I’ve talked before about wanting to lose weight for less-aesthetic reasons than when I was younger. I’m tired of struggling to get off the couch and feeling uncomfortable in certain clothes and settings. I’m tired of worrying if I’ll fit into a seat and I’m really tired of wondering what people think of me—solely based on my size and appearance.

But… I needed to find the words for my worksheet. I had to ask myself how all of these things made me feel and then aim for the opposite.

The exercise involved us brainstorming a heap of words and then slowly culling to come up with 3-5 desired core feelings. There’s a bit of overlap, but they are:

The next step involves us considering what we do and don’t do to contribute to achieving these desired feelings. I’m reminded of a conversation I had long ago with life coach Karen Anderson about goal-setting and the struggle some of us have with the pass / fail process, and her suggestion that I focus on how I want to feel rather than what I want to achieve.

So, I’m kinda excited to see where this might take me. And I might eventually share the two strategies I’ve identified to help me feel the way I want to.

How do you want to feel when you wake in the morning? 

Belatedly linking with Essentially Jess for IBOT